December 23, 2009

Merry Christmas

The Woods Family

December 21, 2009

No Ho Ho Ho

He was so excited to see Santa and say, "Ho Ho Ho" to him. But when we got there all he kept saying was, "No Ho Ho Ho!" Classic.

December 20, 2009

Skinny Kills

How sad is this?!?!
What is up with Hollywood? There have been too many young stars taken too soon and it's usually because of drugs or alcohol. In Brittany Murphy's case, its reported to be anorexia and cocaine. WTH?!?

December 8, 2009

We Need To Talk

This is us.
We are promoting Crown Royal while the NFR is in town.

See those t-shirts I am holding? They are free.
We are giving those out along with free shots, stickers, bandannas and little buttons that blink.
So what do we need to talk about you ask?!?! MANNERS!!!
I would like to know where the hell (sorry mom) all the manners are. I have put together a list of the way people have asked me for the stuff we walk around and give out.
  1. I want one of those!
  2. Hey, give me one too!
  3. Is that for me?
  4. My kids would love these so I need two. (everything says Crown Royal on it)
  5. No I don't want one, oh wait they are free? Yeah, then give me one. (I am not kidding)
  6. I need one, I love Crown Royal I drink it all the time, Oh no I'm not drinking it now because it's so expensive.
I could go on and on with more. But do you see, please, thanks or may I in any of those quotes? NOPE! People are so rude!! Have no fear though, I was rude right back. I have a 2 year old, so these grown ass men and women heard from me, "Is that how you ask?" or "What do you say?!?" Then they would all look at me and say, "oh yeah, please?!?" Jerks. Some people would even yell to us across the bar and tell us they want one. I would say, "One of what?" They would say "whatever you're giving out." WTH! They don't even know what we are giving away, they just want it because it's free. Freaks.
My favorite is the fact that we would be DECKED out in Crown Royal stuff and people would ask us, "Hey are you here for Crown Royal?" Um no Sir, we are here for Bacardi.
Here is your sign.

December 7, 2009

Will The Real Dirt Bag Please Stand Up........Or Flex.

Hmmmm and we all thought Tiger was so private because he was a good guy, had good values and wanted to keep his family safe from the media. WRONG. Turns out, he was so private so no one would notice that he had a different girlfriend in every city.
Tisk Tisk Tisk Tiger, you were one of my favs.
His trade mark nickname, Tiger Tiger Woods Ya'll, is now, Cheetah Cheetah Woods Ya'll!!
I love that the attorney for one of Tiger's alleged mistresses is saying how she is a good girl, has nothing to hide and is willing to cooperate. Um, cooperate with who? Last time I checked cheating wasn't against the law. And how is she a good girl? She slept with a married man and is now selling her story to tabloids. Sure smells like a winner. Give me a break.
Let's just hope his wife gets a clue and doesn't stick around for the money.

December 2, 2009

NFR Sign Me Up

Yes Mam!! I love me some cowboy booty. What woman doesn't?
I HATE HATE HATE this skinny jeans phase on guys. It is a huge turn off and I am so thankful that the hubster still loves his loose fit Levis. Yum.E. BUT.......when it comes to cowboys, oh man. For some reason, they just look soooooo good in tight wranglers. I have yet to meet a woman that disagrees. Now cowboys themselves, gross me out. I am not into the dipping and spitting and bull bucking, just the tight jeans.
Today is the kick off to the NFR Rodeo here in Vegas and I get to work it!
Tonight is the Hoedown downtown, a guaranteed good time. Free country concerts by Emerson Drive, Gloriana and some others. All the big name Cowboys will be there along with about a million other horse loving people. The rest of the week, us Crown Royal girls will be at all the major casinos on the Vegas strip handing out shots and promoting the brand!
If you're here, come find us and get your picture taken with us Crown Royal girls. :)

November 17, 2009

I Wet My Pants

When a little old lady flipped me the bird!

Seriously! How awesome is that? She cut me off and then turned into a parking lot WITHOUT using her blinker. So once I pulled in and we happen to be right next to each other, I said out my window, "I am sorry your blinker is broken!" As I was saying it, I realized it was a little old lady and I felt so bad. For some reason I looked back at her and when I did, I saw she was flipping me the bird! I thought I was going to die. Seriously die. How funny is that? She was SUPER OLD! How proud would you be if that was your grandma? I know I'd be damn proud. So, cheers to all the little old sassy ladies out there. I can only hope that I will still be that sassy when I am that age.

November 5, 2009

Family Pictures

They turned out AWESOME! Pamela Ruby Photography did an amazing job. See for yourself!

The rest I am saving for Christmas card ideas. :)

November 3, 2009

Just A Day In The Life......

Sorry about the f-bombs, but it's funny and you know it!

November 2, 2009

My Family IS Amazing, Got It?

A couple weekends ago, we got some family photos done. It was our first time, as a family, to do an outdoor photo shoot. Normally, we would go to the studio, the people tell us how to pose and click, there is your shot.
This kind of photo shoot though you just walk around and do your thing, all while the photographer is snapping away. It was a little awkward for us because we didn't really know what to do. Hubster and I just don't make out all the time or hang all over each other in front of people. So I guess since we don't do that, it came across as we weren't "madly in love." I am so excited to see our photos because I know our photographer does amazing work, but I am a little scared at the same time. On all the other photo shoots that she has done, she wrote about how much fun she had with the family and how amazing and in love the family was with one another. On our photos she just wrote about how Little Boy wasn't sure if he wanted his photo taken, but in the end she still managed to capture some sweet memories.
So I guess you can say I got my little feelers hurt. I think my family is amazing and we are madly in love. Sorry, we are awkward in front of the camera.
Here are some photos from this past weekend at Disneyland, look how much fun we were having?!?!

How cute is this? Hubster wanted to let me sleep, so him and Little Boy played in the other bed and finally fell asleep like this. Now that's amazing love. :)
Stay tuned to see how those family photos turned out!!

Halloween 2009

We saw 100 Cinderellas, 55 Spidermans, 63 Buzz Lightyears, 23 Kittens, 57 Ninjas
but only 1 Alfalfa!

Look at his face! He was so shocked that someone was giving him treats.
He is saying, "Candy, for ME??"
Enjoying a sucker.
At first he has no clue what to do with it, but I made him lick it and once he got a taste, it was all over!

Hope everyone had a good Halloween!

October 28, 2009

Pay Day

Did you know that says that stay at home mom's are worth on average $122,732??? I need to get paid! The Hubster would be thrilled!

Being a stay at home mom is the best job ever, even if we don't get that crazy paycheck.

However, there are some things I do miss and I am sure you moms can relate.

1. Pooping by myself. With the Door shut. Without Little Boy running in and grunting, thinking he's helping me. He's a doll, isn't he?

2. Taking long showers, alone. Without the worry of Little Boy tearing the house up. Or without him in the shower with me, poking my chest and staring at my stretch marks.

3. Happy Hours. This one is a big bummer. When you are a parent, I think you need happy hour more than anyone! Yet, once you become a parent, the happy hours are far and few between. Ahh, half off cocktails, I miss you.

4. Laundry once a week. Why is it, that when you add ONE MORE person to the equation, the laundry quadruples?? I know I am no math whiz, but that doesn't add up. And now, I am doing laundry 3-4 times a week.

5. Going out to eat. Now don't get me wrong, we still go out to eat sometimes. But when we do, it's like ok, how much time do we have before Little Boy melts down? I need two diaper bags when we go, one for the normal stuff and the other one just to pack stuff to keep him occupied while we eat.
I am sure I have left out a bunch, but those are my top 5.
Of course, I wouldn't trade Little Boy for any of those.
He's way funnier than the bartender at happy hour and he loves to help with the laundry.
He's a keeper.

October 27, 2009

Little People, Big Mess

Does anyone else watch this show?
Does anyone else get as grossed out as I do by how messy their house is!??!?!

I was watching last night and they finally had an episode where they addressed their messy home. Apparently, Papa Roloff doesn't like a messy home, but Mama Roloff doesn't care.
Can we say EWW???
They were showing clutter every where, empty soda cans ALL OVER THE HOUSE, stained carpets and plenty more. I have watched this show since season 1 and always thought they lived like pigs, but I figured after they did that huge remodel/upgrade that they would clean up a little more. Nope, still pigs. Eeww.

October 20, 2009

Going Back To Cali

This past weekend my mom, Little Boy and I all drove out to Modesto, CA for my cousin Stacie's 30Th birthday. It was so much fun and Little Boy can't wait to go back.

My mom, little boy and my cousin Stacie

My Uncle Steve aka "Papa Smurf" and I

My Cousin Shelly and I. She is prego and absolutely adorable.

This is my little cousin Morgan and I. She was sooo funny. This girl could have danced all night long, I love it.

You're looking at my cousin Steve on the drums and my cousin Michael on the guitar and yes, that is Little Boy as lead vocals. I told you he was amazing.

Oh and that little missy that's down in the front, she was the band's groupie. She couldn't get enough of Little Boy. He makes the ladies go crazy.

On the way home from Cali, we stopped at this pumpkin patch/fruit stand that was out in the middle of nowhere. Little Boy loved it though.

Here he is staring at that huge pumpkin.

He's 3ft tall!!

Picking out his pumpkin. Once he lifted it though, he didn't want it. Too heavy.

Riding the horse, he loved this thing.

We got him to do the piggy face and yes, he was snorting like a pig.

Sorry for the picture overload, but that was our trip in a nutshell. Can't wait to go back!

October 11, 2009

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

Three years ago, if you would have asked me if I would ever ask some one if they had poopies in their pants, I would have laughed at you. Now, I ask it about 4 times a day, along with a few other funny things.
Here are my top tens. I am sure the older he gets, the better they will get.

  1. Let me get that booger (that's gross)

  2. Do you have poopies? (hubster says this one too!)

  3. Don't put Diego in the toilet

  4. Stop chewing on Mommy's tampons!! (clean ones of course, sicko)

  5. Take that straw out of your nose

  6. Stop growling at the neighbors Pit bull, he bites.

  7. Quit whining or you're going to goodwill (that one got me Mother Of The Year)

  8. Don't lick your Lego's

  9. Stop drinking the bath water

  10. Your peepee isn't going anywhere, please stop holding on to it. (he's only 2)

This face says it all, "Who me?"

October 8, 2009

Well Said Sister

I know everyone and their mom has read this letter, but I posted it because it's how I am feeling today.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse’? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’ Isn’t the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer’s monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants… Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’

Are you f—— kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep.

Always. . .
Wendi Aarons

October 7, 2009

Oh Snap, Look What I Made

How cute is this?!?! Yes, I made it. Are you proud? I am not sure where I saw the idea, but as soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have one of my own. I am in the process of making one for Christmas and Valentines day. How cute will the Valentines Day one be?
The wreath will be heart shaped..............picture it now. CAAAUUTTEE!

September 18, 2009

Playgroup Dropout

That's us, dropouts. Deal with it rude lady at Michael's.

So I went to Michael's today, second time this week. Who is counting right? Apparently one of the ladies that works there. I went there on Wednesday for some paper and stuff to make Little Boy's birthday invitations and banner. Today, I realized I needed more paper for the banner. I remember that this week all the paper is on sale so I decide to pack up Little Boy and head over there. As I am checking out, I notice the lady is BENDING my paper. Not just a little bend, but she is leaving creases in my paper. OMG. Is she serious right now? It took everything for me not to say anything, and for those of you that know me, know that was hard. Well, by the time she bent the 10th piece, I lost my mind. I reached over the counter and started straighting out the paper she had already rang up. The look on her face was priceless. She then says, "Oh sorry, I guess I am bending it huh?" So I say, "You guess? It's pretty obvious that you bent them all." She tells me she is sorry and that I am welcome to go get new paper. I tell her, "Don't you think I would have already done that if there was any left?" She says, "Oh it's all gone? You must have got the last of it." YA THINK!?!?! Genius. Then she tells me, "Weren't you just in here the other day buying paper?" I say yes, and tell her I am back because I needed more, duh. At this time, the look on her face tells me she realizes I am pissed her. She then looks at Little Boy and says how cute he is and tells me about how her friend is starting this mommy and me play group, where the moms do crafts and the kids play. Well I am not sure what world this lady is living in, but in my house, if the kids are awake, the moms aren't crafting. So because I am SUPER pissed off, I tell her "We don't do playgroups. We attempted them once, but they weren't for us. Just consider us playgroup dropouts." And just like that, she stopped talking, stopped bending my paper and continued to check us out.

September 16, 2009

10% Never Looked So Good

This man, my father, is 55!!
Guess what that means?!?!
10% off discount at Ross, Fuddruckers, Applebees, Dunkin Donuts, El Pollo Loco, IHOP and many more. Oh how I have been waiting for this day!
Happy Birthday Dad.............when can we shop?

Isn't he a gem?

September 12, 2009

No It Won't

X will never = 15.
M will never = 24. Got that?
I am back in school and of course, I am taking those horrible required college math classes. Now, it's all pretty easy for me, it's mostly just dusting off my brain and remembering that you can't divide 43 into 7. Ya know? But what kills me is, the crap that's required that I will never use again. Like, solve for x, 3x+4=15. Now I can solve that sure, but why? How can a letter equal a number? Huh? Someone please explain that to me. And I don't want some math explanation, that's what I pay my professor for. I want to know how in the world does x = 15??? Ugghh. To make matters worse, my professor is one of "those" that thinks math is funny. FYI, math isn't funny. Nor is it cute or silly or anything else but just work. She will write an equation, that obviously isn't solvable, then laugh about how funny math is. Um, again, it's not funny.

September 8, 2009

Call The Doctor

or, get me tivo, NOW!
It's September people. September. Do you know what that means?
Biggest Loser
One Tree Hill
The Hills
The City
Real World/Road Rules Challenge
Melrose Place
Do I need to keep going?
This September is bitter sweet. I am so excited to watch all my favorite shows, but so nervous at the same time. At the end of last years amazing fall season, I lost my tivo in a tragic accident. The Hubster cancelled it. Tragic right? He doesn't understand!! I tried and tried to convince him that I would die without it, but since I still don't have it, I think it's safe to say he didn't believe me. Please pray for me, I have to go watch Ellen now, since I can't rewind.

August 31, 2009

Girl Eat A Sandwich

I know it says Wednesday, but my weigh in day is Monday. So.......I weighed in today. I am down 3lbs! That is FANTASTIC news for me. Because on Saturday, I probably had more points then I am allowed in a whole week. Oops. What can I say? We were with good friends and sushi was involved. So I will take my 3lbs and be happy.

August 27, 2009

Who Is This Kid

Here are some updates on Little Boy.

He is still nuts.
He is super adorable.
He is obsessed with getting into all my stuff.
Yes, that's a headband on his head. He's weird.
He is an AMAZING pole dancer.

Just look at that form.

And no, I didn't teach him anything. When he saw the pole, he just knew what to do. It's like he was born to Pole Dance.

Ahh Little Boy, you keep me laughing.