May 7, 2009

Oldie, But Goodie

I posted this back in October, but because I have so many prego people in my life right now, I felt the need to bring it back. So here it goes......

I was at Target the other day, and I overheard a conversation with an employee and a pregnant woman checking out. It was such an awkward conversation and I wanted to climb over the counter and punch the employee in the nose.
It just made me think back to my pregnancy and reminded me of all the stuff that people I DIDN'T know would say that irritated me.
Are you pregnant?
My response was always "No, I am just really fat!!"
Don't ask this question ever!! What if they are heavy and not carrying a little nemo in there? Then how bad do you feel? And if they are pregnant, it is none of your business anyway!
When are you due?
This question really annoyed me!! Only because when I would tell them the date, they would start going on and on about their due date and how their baby came late or early and blah blah. By the time they were done, my ice cream was melted or my french fries were cold (which ever one my little fetus was craving at the time).
Can I touch your belly?
Um, no. Never. Please back away from me.
Is it a boy or girl?
Does it really matter? Seriously. Once I tell you what it is, you are then going to ask what name I have, then you will proceed to give me your opinion on my name choice. Can I remind you that I am pregnant and very moody??
How much weight have you gained?
Excuse me? How much weight have you gained, fatty? Would you say this to someone who wasn't pregnant? So why would you say it to a prego when her hormones haven't seen normal in 6 months? Some people's children!!
Are you going to breastfeed?
This one was my favorite.
I would NEVER ask someone I didn't know, if they were going to put the baby on the boob. That is such a personal decision and none of your business, nosey lady at walmart!!

Another great thing is when you go to dinner and people get these scared looks on their faces like if they don't order before you, they might not get any. That's the best.
And last but not least, how about when you go to lunch with your parents and when you order an appetizer and a sandwich, your dad looks at you and says, "No wonder you are 200lbs."
I am serious, my Dad said that to me. It's hilarious now, but then, I think I cried hysterically.
It was embarrassing.
I am sure there are plenty more questions or comments that people say, those were just the ones that random strangers would ask me on a daily basis. It's amazing how once you have a little nemo taking up residence inside of you, people think that have a right to know every detail of how it got there and how it's getting out.

Remember, if you don't know them, leave pregnant girls alone.
And if you do know them? Don't ask to enter them into a hot dog eating contest.


Jane said...

I love this post. You're so right. People just don't think before speaking and somtimes it hurts!
How about this one? After a hard vaginal delivery, and three days in the hospital, I came home. My in laws dropped by to see our new baby and my father in law asked "Do your stitches itch"? I was horrified. I still am when I think about it.

Lara said...

LOL, you made me laugh so much! I completely agree with you, and I've never even been pregnant.

I would never ask someone if they were pregnant. It's only a safe subject if it's REALLY obvious; but even then you might be mistaken. I've seen tumours that look like 8-month baby bumps.

- Someone I work with actually asked me when I was due about six months ago. I nearly died of shame; I was just fat! :( How awful did I feel? Except, I didn't want to cause him embarrassment, so I just let him go on about his daughter being pregnant and how excited he was to become a grandfather. Had I worked with him every day, I would have set him straight, but I only see him about 3 times a year, so I didn't bother. Except when he next saw me, I'd lost loads of weight, and in his mind; I should have been REALLY pregnant by then. He was polite, but I caught him giving me sympathetic glances. I think he thought I'd miscarried or something. Hmmm...

But yes; don't ask if she's pregnant! Speaking as someone who's been asked when she wasn't. It did encourage me to diet though, so it's not all bad.

And the breastfeeding? It grosses me out, so I wouldn't want to ask :/

And I'm the most British person you can get; get away from me and get your hands away from my belly! Do you go up to a really fat man with freakishly wide eyes (your eyes, not his) and ask to touch his belly? Didn't think so.

But apparently the sight of a baby belly causes people to forget about usual bahaviour ;)

Sam said...

hi nice blog you got good jog i like it, i hope you will join my blog so we can be friends.

Rob and Amy said...

Hi Suzanne!! =) No idea how you found my blog either, might be Life as a Lara?? Anyway, I'm SO Glad you found it!!! Hope over to FFF and enter =) PS- I just read your bagel fiasco, and I was cracking up!! Have you ever tried Einstein's Dutch Apple bagel?!? It's delish!