October 28, 2008

Here Is The Skinny

I was at Target the other day, and I overheard a conversation with an employee and a pregnant woman checking out. It was such an awkward conversation and I wanted to climb over the counter and punch the employee out. It just made me think back to my pregnancy and reminded me of all the stuff that people I DIDN'T know would say that irritated me.
Here are a few.
Are you pregnant?
My response was always "No, I am just really fat!!"
Don't ask this question ever!! What if they are heavy and not carrying a little nemo in there? Then how bad do you feel? And if they are pregnant, it is none of your business anyway!
When are you due?
This question really annoyed me!! Only because when I would tell them the date, they would start going on and on about their due date and how their baby came late or early and blah blah. By the time they were done, my ice cream was melted or my french fries were cold (which ever one my little fetus was craving at the time).
Can I touch your belly?
Um, no. Never. Please back away from me now.
Is it a boy or girl?
Does it really matter? Seriously. Once I tell you what it is, you are then going to ask what name I have, then you will proceed to give me your opinion on my name choice. Can I remind you that I am pregnant and very moody??
How much weight have you gained?
Excuse me? How much weight have you gained, fatty? Would you say this to someone who wasn't pregnant? So why would you say it to a prego when her hormones haven't seen normal in 6 months? Some people's children!!
Are you going to breastfeed?
This one was my favorite. Only because I would NEVER ask someone I didn't know, if they were going to put the baby on the boob. That is such a personal decision and none of your business, nosey lady at walmart!!
I am sure there are plenty more questions, those were just the ones that random strangers would ask me on a daily basis. It's amazing how once you have a little nemo taking up residence inside of you, people think they have a right to know every detail of how it got there and how it's getting out.
Another great thing is when you go to dinner and people get these scared looks on their faces like if they don't order before you, they might not get any. That's the best.
And last but not least, how about when you go to lunch with your parents and when you order an appetizer and a sandwich, your dad looks at you and says, "No wonder you are 200lbs."
Really? I am serious, my Dad said that to me. It's hilarious now, but then, I think I cried hysterically. It was embarrassing.
Remember, if you don't know them, leave pregnant girls alone.
And if you do know them? Don't ask to enter them into a hot dog eating contest.

2 comments:

Mark said...

It was dinner :)

Lola Goetz said...

The other one that annoyed me? "What are you having" A boy. "Only one? Are you sure it's not twins?"

Um, yeah, you dumb a$$, I had an ultrasound. I think we'd know if there were two in there. (And this wasn't asked because of my size - I wasn't very big.)