August 3, 2010

The Only Stupid Question Is The One Not Asked...

Unless you're asking a pregnant woman something. Then there is a 99% chance that it's a stupid question. Seriously. People ask pregnant women STUPID questions. And since I am on bed rest and bored, I feel like ranting about this.
1. Aren't you hot in this weather?
No, I actually love being 45lbs over weight in 113 degree weather, it's refreshing.
2. Does it suck to be so swollen?
Again, no. I love misspelling every word in a text because my fingers are too fat to hit the right keys .
3. Are you so ready to have that baby?
Not at all. I feel like I could go another 9 months.
4. Do you crave and eat cookies all the time?
Ok I really do, but that's besides the point. Who asks this to someone? And who cares if I do!! Are you worried about there being a cookie shortage?
5. Aren't you so excited you're finally having a girl?
Finally? I am on baby #2, not 12. I have one boy, not 17.
6. When are you due? You look like you're about to pop right now!
4 weeks and so do you.
7. Should we stick a fork in you and see if you're done?
Should we hold a mirror to your face to see if it breaks?
Ahhhh since this is my last pregnancy, I really will miss hearing these amazing questions. But because this is my second pregnancy, I am learning to laugh when people ask me these things. I even give them sarcastic answers. Most people laugh back at me and realize the stupidity of their question, but some look shocked that I am laughing at them. How come the minute you're pregnant, your privacy goes out the door? Or strangers want to get all mushy and tell you how amazing child birth is and how awesome it is to have a little girl. Puke. Most people that know me, know I hate talking to strangers or random people and know that I really hate when people want to be all mushy with me about having a baby.
**Ok, so after proof reading this, maybe it is a good thing that I am stuck in my house, away from the public. Clearly it's not safe for me to be out with the general population.**


~MeLiSsA~ said...

That is some funny s*it!! :)

I got all those questions and would give close to the same answers sometimes.... people can be so stupid!

I luckily caught myself a few times on things I ALMOST said to people while preggo this last time, for example, a friend of a friend lost a lot of weight last year and looked great. Last time I saw her I was walking up and she was sitting facing the opposite way so I noticed she was gaining a bit back because of some back fat. I came THIS close to saying "oh, I see you are gaining some weight back." Thank God I came to my senses... especially when I had NO business saying anything since I was a porker too with this pregnancy. :)

So sorry to hear you are on bed rest.. that totally sucks! :(

Christy {SparklesandSpinach} said...

LOL, you are too funny!!! But this is so true! I haven't heard these questions in 7 years, but looking back, I got asked almost all the same ones. People have such nerve don't they?!

Bre said...

This post is AWESOME!!!! I could've written this exact post a month ago!!! I was venting about the same thing... People are so freakin' obnoxious. I would sit and think about all of the t-shirt sayings I could make that would basically tell people to eff off. =)

Anonymous said...

I just peed a little from laughing so hard. People are idiots and these are the EXACT answers that I wish I would've given people!